I let you go, you let me grow

Life is so delicate, yes delicate in its strength and vigour. A lion cub is born vulnerable to  its environment, oblivious of its powers and fearful nature until in grows and matures into its rightful stature. It grows to it prime, where it commands respect at a roar and it’s gait carries it’s authority until old age. With age, the lion’s fearce look remains a tale of what once was, it’s strength weathered with scars a reminder of battles won and battles lost and its raor a cry of distant memories that still seek to be and at the same time it still haunts those who know it’s might.

Lara has been soaring in the past years, she has reached heights unimaginable and she is just so full of  life! How she got to this point, she will never know. A dark cloud of grief has been lifted off over her and she finds herself light on her feet and sharp in her mind. Losing a loved one is the hardest point in one’s life, knowing that they will never assume the physical role and fill the void that stares you in the face. When Lara’s father was still alive, he was her soft landing and her source of courage. She had never imaged a life that he she would walk without seeking guidance or encouragement from him.

Their last conversation remains a silent whisper of strength on a daily basis. The conversation had ended by him telling her “be strong”, a few days after the conversation she received the dreaded call that he had passed. Broken, lost and aggrieved she had cried herself to sleep, cried herself to work and cried herself during her morning jogs and walks for months. Every step an effort and action lacking in will. However she has now broken through the cloud, her heart beating with a new rhythm. Her father’s presence calm and palpable to her conscious state always. Lara feels much more mature, with a braveness and willingness to face life with a fearless attitude that seeks to assert itself. As if the lion cub’s eyes have just been unveiled to it’s greatest potential and realizing that the artillery for war has long been provided…an ordination to it’s youth and vigour!


When we lose the ones we love, what are the tings we hold on to that restore us and ignite us to become whole and live fulfilled lives?

“Be strong” these two words ring in her ears on her worst and best days. As if her father took off a virtual cape from around his neck and placed it around hers. In her walk and her language there is an entrenched boldness that surprises her and a contentment that catches her off guard. Though she may never have her father available to take her calls just so she can hear his calm voice when seeking comfort or return to the moments where they debated until late in the night on issues about life, she knows she carries a baton to be strength, love and light to someone else.

Breaking Beyond Bounds

Fhulufhelo sits in her living room and stares into space as tears run down her cheeks like a boundless river that overflows after a great downpour of rain. This time it’s not the depression that hits in sync with the menstrual cycle of the month nor is it the overwhelm of the work overload that she takes on and thrives under the pressure until it breaks her nor the feeling of not being good enough that she has struggled to shake off ever since she was a young girl trying to assert herself in every area of her life.

It’s the mirage of the words that she has come across as she endeavoured to achieve dreams that always seemed illusive. The passion that was often snuffed off by scepticism and scientific facts used to back up the little trust given to her ambition. The road has been an battlefield full of landmines and snares that threatened to cripple her soul and assign her sanity into oblivion. But she pulled through…and the rest and peace that come with this sudden tranquil road has brought on this eruption of suppressed hurt, pain and anger towards herself and everyone else who made their views and believes known over her capabilities. She admits to herself that the road to healing from the encounters is still long.


Her mantra has always been “humble beginnings will always find a way to humble you”. Growing up in an informal settlement that was established to support a growing mining town, with parents who worked for very little but gave in abundance to their children, she never new poverty until it was told to her that she was from poverty. Treated with disregard and often overlooked she still maintained in her heart that she was destined for greater heights. Now she sits in a house that she owns in full, with the responsibility over ten individual’s livelihoods and a legacy of the impact that she has over a number of communities where she is committed to give her time and funds to.

What does it take for you to break beyond the confines of education, social classing and financial constraints to get to where you want to be?

Fhulufhelo does not believe that she has “made it”, because to her it has never been about reaching a destination with an end, but about growth made possible by believing in herself and achieving beyond the boundaries of society’s expectations. She stands up from her couch, picks up her car keys and wipes away her tears as she walks past the mirror by the passage and mentally gears herself up for the motivation talk she is booked for at an all girls school, the topic of her motivational talk is “Breaking Beyond Bounds”. The very topic of a life that she lived in preparation for such moments.

Are the just, the strongest?

In a world that has made everything easily accessible and instant, Tondani finds herself constantly chastising herself for her weak sense of will. She has been giving into situations so easily and she has lost the once resolute fight to upkeep her values.

She has allowed herself to gain so much weight because, why the heck not, life is easier doing what is comfortable. This has recently been her attitude towards everything. She has allowed her work to fall behind as she entertains her bosses demand for her attention and affection, the pay raise has been a good motivation that her hard work previously never earned her as many digits as she is now banking. She has signed on a bigger mortgage because it makes her look good before her peers and she has just never bothered to maintain her relationships because she has no interest in making anything work as long as it has no direct benefit to her.

This, her mother has recently observed and grieved in silence as she has sees her daughter slip into oblivion. How she so wishes her daughter could be more prudent about her life. That she would go pick up her morals where she dropped them and stand tall for what is just. After all she was a good woman and mother all her life, a great example to her children, but Tondani seems to have missed the lessons somewhere along her journey in life.

Tondani looks carefree, to be frank she looks lost with no care of being found. Her eyes remain wide at all times, as though constantly surprised or shocked by something that has just occurred. She stares people to their soul and combatively wins the unspoken battle to never look away. How else can she maintain the fissard of the perfect life and contentment. Deep down though, in the depth of her core, she is fighting a million battles, drowning in despair and at the same time praying for an angel, a miracle to yank her out of the bottomless pit she has fallen through.

She asks herself, if ever she were just, honest in her ways and resilient in her walk to do only what was right and acceptable… would that be a strength? or are her current battles and the disparity of her life what makes her strong?

Was her mother’s struggle to be perfect in the face of society real strength? Was her mom’s devotion to the church to prove herself just the strength needed? Or struggling to make her marriage seem solid whilst her individuality seized to exist more honorable and a strength of character? Tondani struggles to find the answers.

She sits quietly in a park overlooking a dam with the sun threatening to disappear into the mountains and invite the dark of the night. Tondani considers visiting her mother. To lay her head on her mother’s shoulder and pour it all out, to empty her heavy cup and strip her soul bare and lay the broken pieces with the hope to gain some insight for the strength that she seeks desperately.

Dream chaser

Everyone is born a dreamer! Others may dream more and others may dream less, but we all grow up with dreams sown in the hem of our souls that ache to come to life when the opportunity is made available. Some dreams flourish whilst others tear away at the seams, leaving parts of the soul bare.

Raymond is at the peak of his life, he stands by the window of his tenth holiday apartment, an expensive hobby, but one of the best power moves he has ever made. The apartment gives a wide and gorgeous view of the city deep, the sounds of people and cars in this part of the world that never sleeps brings some calmness and a sense of accomplishment as opposed to his four story mansion hidden in one of the most highly esteemed suburbs in the country. He has made it, ask him what he cannot buy and he will will laugh it off because he knows that his wife and children would tell you he can buy anything, all you need to do is make it part of your Christmas wish list. The same applies to his “lady friends” who also lack nothing but just that one dream to capture his heart and make him theirs. He no longer buys out of necessity but for the sake of exercising the power that comes with it.

Raymond has seen many of his dreams come true, he has worked hard… it took sweat, blood and tears to achieve his get where he is and along the way some dreams have slipped through. Tugged at the hem of his soul and ripped off before they could come alive. One man can’t have it all, he knows that, but, if only it was not the dreams that mattered the most that where lost. Maybe he would not feel such a void.


What are those dreams that give you sleepless nights, the ones that cause your heart to break all over again at just the thought of them, the ones that you grieve and would do anything just to give it one more try, one more fight at a chance to bring them to life?

Raymond’s dream was never to be this stupidly rich, his soul yearns to reconnect with the young and naive young man who aspired to bring change in his village. Early in his journey to success, he had always idealized how he would go back home some day and make an impact but he fears now that he is disconnected. He can no longer relate and does not know where he would start to make meaningful and empowering change. It could be that he has lost his fire or that some of the dreams he achieved have poured cold water onto the dreams that once mattered the most. However, Raymond has the privilege of power, he makes other people’s dreams come true even when he does not prescribe to them. A privilege that many do not have and one that he can easily just exercise to fulfill his lost dreams. If Raymond is a dream chaser, where does that put us?


The measure to happiness is…

Akonaho does not give chance a minute, a day or a week to grab the bull by the horns and let live.

She lives for the moment, for the thrill and she takes chances that only a few have ever dared. Those who work for her say her stare can turn fire into ice, her words pierce as sharp as a sword and her presence demands attention…her friends know her as a dare devil, fun loving and as a “party all night and worry about tomorrow when it arrives” kinda person.

She wishes that her brother who is so damn responsible could just live a little, losen up his tie, forget about his daily routine and let slip his worries about being a responsible husband and father. After all, she is a successful business woman and she calls the shots and the life she lives rests on an empire she built with her own hands.


But Tendani knows why his sister lives on the edge, he understands the rough cut edges and the nonchalant attitude. She has been betrayed, rejected, scorned and knows the taste of rock bottom. If it is not the job that fell away because of a vindictive colleague, the marriage she lost to her childhood friend and the dreams that never came true because of life’s hardships that deterred her from finishing her studies in law, then Tendani does not know where else he could put the blame. Tendani is happy, content and wishes that exact same stability for his sister.

Life throws curve balls, brings about a twist to a well written script and pulls the curtain on you before the story has even begun. Yet we are all built with a survival mechanism to get up, dust ourselves and stand. It is what we do when we are afforded the chance to pursue happiness, a chance to define who we are.

Happiness…some attain it at all cost, others wear the mask to portray its form.

What is happiness to you, what defines it for you and how far would you go to get to the point of happiness?

Do you hold on to the lost dreams, the challenges and the betrayal of those you so trusted or do you tear up the canvas, pour out the old paint and head for a bigger canvas and the brightest paint?

Or do we simply live on and wait for happiness to find us?

Let’s get married!

With this blog I thee wed, to be your loyal blogger, to have and to hold, to be there in good times and also in bad times…

Hold up! This brings me to my question, is marriage an achievement?

As Ursula and James walk out of the Home Affairs Department, Ursula shouts out to her mom with her left hand held up high “Mom, I’m married”, as if she had just come to the realisation of the reality of it. James picks her up at the waist and lifts her off the ground in a celebratory dance.

Where do we go from here my darling!

James’ older brother Mike, looks at them happily and her says “congratulations guys! You made it”. He can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, he has never been married and is nowhere close to it. He is just not meeting the right girl, he cannot seem to ‘lock it down’. Sandra looks at her older sister with so much pride, she runs up to them and hugs them. One day she wants a union just a beautiful as theirs.

We all set goals in life, some are quick and easy to achieve and some take time and we have all the potential to get there. With the will and hard work of course. As we go about setting goals, is marriage one of them? A milestone? And once that is in the bag, do we make a tick on our long-list of goals and move on or do we crunch that paper up and say “done, all achieved”

Weddings are beautiful events, couples are a great marvel to observe and marriage is where my question lies today… is marriage an achievement or the beginning of a new chapter in ones life?

Please share your views!